What Hurts the Most
by Divachick86
Summary: Mushi Sanban was so close to escaping her parents and spending the rest of her life with the boy she cared deeply for. Too bad it was all ripped away from her in one, short, hour. Now how will she cope with losing everything she thought she had firmly in her grasp? The stories better than the summary. Also stick around after to check out my contest. Mushi/OC


**Based off of the song "What Hurts the Most" Rascal Flatts.**

**I ****own nothing but the idea. I will do the rest of my talking at the end.**

_~What Hurts the Most~_

Tears streamed down her face, leaving behind black tracks to announce their presence. Mushi didn't care, though. A smeared makeup would not bring near as much grief as her most recent phone call had brought. A sob racked her body as a fresh wave of tears poured from her eyes. She felt the salty substance dripping down onto her hand. She raised them and rubbed her face fiercely in an attempt to make it less slick. This, however, only resulted in her hands becoming black. She rubbed them vigorously on her purple sweatshirt, smearing it with black. More sobs caused her to place her elbows on her dresser and bow her head, running her hand over her face and up to take her choppy, jet-black hair with a viper's grip, its purple ends sticking out at odd angles between her soaked fingers.

When she raised her head again, her mirror showed her that her father was standing in her doorway. She felt a wave of hatred wash over her at the sight of the tall man, staring over his glasses at her with sad eyes. An act. It was only an act, he wasn't sad. He had hated Derek, after all. She whipped around to face him and as she did she heard her phone crunch under her stomping foot. Satisfaction filled a tiny part of her mind. "This is all your fault!" she screamed at him, pointing an accusing finger. A wave of empathy crossed his dark eyes, or Mushi thought it was empathy. It had to be, he had never been through something like this before. More of his acting.

"Mushi, no I-"

"Don't lie to me! You made him leave! You wanted this to happen!" The accusations flew from her mouth without abandon. "Say it! Say you hated him!"

"Mushi-"

"I hate you! You made him leave!" A hairbrush flew from her hand and whipped across the room at him. He retreated back and barely avoided the projectile, then swiftly moved in and wrapped his arms around her. She sobbed into his shirt and pound her fists on her chest, not sure if she wanted his comfort or if she wanted him dead.

_~What Hurts the Most~_

Mushi stepped into the house, now empty off all but her. The house she and Derek had planned to move into on her eighteenth birthday, only a month off before the accident, now only a day away. Empty. She dropped to the floor and hit her head on the wall of the house, looking up at the air, listening to the rain drops thump against the roof. Then to the emptiness, she spoke. "I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me." Tears leaked from her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away. "I can take a few tears now and then and just… let them out." She looked out of the window at the rain and her voice softened as though she was afraid someone might overhear. "I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while…" she choked, then continued, "even though going on with you gone still upsets me. There are days every now and again that I pretend I'm okay," the tears won and streamed down her face as her voice was broken by a sob, "But that's not what gets me. What hurts the most, was being _so _close, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away. Now I'll never knowing what could have been, and not seeing that loving you was all that I was trying to do."

A memory flooded back to her. Suddenly she was sitting on his bed with him, his arms wrapped tight around her. He kissed her forehead and she continued to stare at her own feet. "What's wrong? Is it your dad? Because you know, you're almost eighteen, he can't control you for much longer."

"No, it's not him. I could care less what he thinks," she replied reassuringly. She shifted so that she could tuck her feet underneath herself and look at him. "Do you ever think about the future?"

"Sometimes," he said with a shrug.

Mushi swallowed. "What do you see?"

He chuckled wryly. "What do you see?" He asked flicking his head so his long black bangs where out of his eyes.

Mushi picked at the sleeve of his leather jacket and said, "I'm series."

He paused to take a breath and said, "You. What else?"

She smiled and kissed him. Her voice came in on the wind, but she didn't hear, she was too caught in the moment. "It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, but I'm doing it. It's hard to fake that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone, but… it's still harder, getting up, getting dressed, and living with this regret, but I know, if I could do it over… I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart, that I'd left unspoken. Still, what hurts the most…. was being _so _close, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away. I'll never know now what could have been. I didn't see that loving you, was what I was trying to do."

_~What Hurts the Most~_

Mushi awoke wrapped warmly in her blankets. She blinked at the sun shining in through her window and groaned. She forced herself to put both feet on the floor and stared out the window. Her room faced the street, and right in front of her window was the place Derek always parked to wait for her, leaned against his car casually. He should have been there today, on the day they were to move to their new home and start their new life. No much planning and saving put in for this day and now it was all gone.

Tears filled her eyes and she turned and bolted for her door, grabbing her sweatshirt on the way out, even though it wasn't cold outside. As she passed through the kitchen she ignored her mother's concerned call. She raced down the street and eventually she was down a deserted road that lead through the woods. She fell to her knees there and, with tears filling her eyes she spoke softly to the lifeless stone that marked the body of the love of her life. A stone that would not be there had her father not chased him off. Had he not bee pre-occupied with wondering how he was possibly going to get the approval he would have liked from Kani Sanban, in order to marry his daughter.

"Derek, I'm so sorry," she cried. "This hurts to bad." The wind swirled around her and she shook her head. "But what hurts the most was being _so close_, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away." Right before her eyes she saw him walking away from her doorstep with her father's shouts at his feet and herself watching from her bedroom window, being so sure that it wasn't the last time she'd see him. "I'll never know what could have been. But worst of all was, I didn't realize that loving you… was all that I was trying to do."

The stone sat there silently but Mushi heard Derek's voice resonate in her head, accompanied by her laughter as she teased him by leaping from his bed and running for the door. "Wait! What do you see?"

"I saw you," she spoke softly and for only a moment, she thought she saw a flash of her boyfriend, smiling at her from his position standing behind the stone. "I will always see you."

**Okay! and that's the end. I've been wanting to do something for Mushi for a long time now, but couldn't come up with something. Then I was listening to this song while I was writing and I had sudden inspiration. So yeah! Hope you liked!**

**One more thing. I'm only two chapters away from completing my first multi-chapter story, Operation F.L.A.S.H.B.A.C.K! I say this is cause for celebration! Sooo, I'm gonna have a contest, that way everyone can be in on it! Yeah!  
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**That said, since we're celebrating Operation F.L.A.S.H.B.A.C.K, which is mostly about the friendship of Patton/Fanny as younger kids, the theme is friendship! So you have until November 10th to write a one-shot about a friendship of your choice, as long as at least one character is from KND. Easy enough and with plenty of time, right? I only ask for you to be creative. Try to avoid Cliches okay? Cool! Moving on.  
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**First place prizes will e given for two divisions, Originality/Creativity(Sorry some people don't know the difference)which means how original and creative your idea is, and Style, meaning spelling/grammer, character portrayal, imagery that kind of stuff you know, and I will decide based on the story, and then a top three for overall. No one can win a division and an over all, because an overall is a combination of both, which means you did great in both.  
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**Prizes:  
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**First place in a division: I shall favorite you and your story(if your already on my favorite list then I'll come up with a different prize.)  
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**Thrid place over-all: Favorite you and story+pairing of your choice in the next chapter of one of my stories.  
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**Second Place over-all: All of the above+A one-shot of a pairing of your choice.  
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**Fisrt Place over-all: One KND/Fanfiction wish. (As long as as it had to do with KND's archive it can be anything.)  
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**Okay! So write, be creative, I will not be biased! I will read every submitted story with an open mind! I am judging on story quality, not the characters used or whether or not I know and/or like you. Cool? Awesome so if you have any questions I'm only a PM away so don't e shy. When you put it up,(and don't feel rushed cause you have nearly three weeks) just PM me the title, and/or put it in the description. Awesome, have fun with this!  
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**And don't forget to drop off a review! Thanks for reading!  
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